Sims Online Secrets - secrets and stories from the sims online

The Unwritten Rules Of Sim Couples

What is Sim socially acceptable behavior? Are you dating a Sim? Seeing a shirt or skirt? Maybe you are going steady? Perhaps you are engaged or even married? In Simland, just as in RL, there are unwritten rules of conduct for sim socially acceptable behavior. I don't think there are any hard and fast, black and white rules. Every sim couple is different. I've often found newer players to be either extra conservative or extra liberal. Often the more conservative player considers the game as an extension of real lfe. The more liberal viewed sims often tell me "its just a game". After some time, I find both tend to get more moderate. The stricter player lets their hair down, and the lossey goose tend to tighen up. Here is a spectrum of things that sim couples might debate. Where would you draw the imaginary lines for the unwritten rules?

Would you allow your sim partner to...

- hug another sim
- dance with another sim
- slow dance with another sim
- hot tub with another sim at a busy property
- hot tub with another sim alone on a property
- sweet kiss another sim
- hot kiss another sim
- dip kiss another sim
- wear certain skanky clothes in front of another sim
- sleep in a double bed with another sim
- cuddle couch aother sim
- cuddle bed aother sim
- cuddle tub another sim
- IM or bubble about sex with another sim
- IM or bubble cybersex with another sim

You might also consider the above points in terms of giving and receiving. Receiving might be seen as less of an action than is giving. ;) You might also take a step back and say "if I am married in RL, is my sim allowed to do any, some or all of the items on that list?" The questions now get even more complex! If I am married in RL, can I email, instant message, or call my sim partner on the telephone? Is this over a new set of imaginary lines? Can I meet my sim partner at a maxis sim social event? Can I go for starbucks with my sim partner, alone at a sim social event? Can I drink a pitcher of ale and have shooters at Club54 with my sim partner while living la vida loco? ROFL hee hee heeee. What are the unwritten rules of sim socially acceptable behavior? Only you can decide.

The Shotgun Wedding, Bizzare Accident, and Jealous Lover

The Shotgun Wedding
In a suprising development, Twiddler the grizzly mountain man asked Blue Angel for her hand in marriage. The two eloped and exchanged vows within the hour at Heart's Retreat in front of a small crowd consisting of Blue Angel's close friends "Liquid Tragedy and "AndR". The paparazzi were a buzz "where was Mary Poppins?"

A Bizarre Chainsaw Accident
The workaholic Twidddler, raced home after the honeymoon to complete his 420th hand chainsaw carved wooden bear. Mrs Blue Twiddlesticks, as her friends liked to call her, decided to stop in at Gnomes In Paradise for a Burger and Fries. She was served both meals by Mary Poppins, who was noticeably missing at the wedding party. Mary gave Blue the food "on the house". Blue arrived at the Grizzly Saloon and was stricken with horror as she found Twiddler lying dead on his back. In a bizarre bear carving accident, the chainsaw jammed, bucked, striking Twiddler in the forehead, killing him instantly. He died doing what he loved.

The Jealous Lover
Blue Angel Twiddlesticks began walking out of the Twiddler's bear area. She was started by Mary Poppins, who gave her an evil point. Blue asked "Mary, what are you doing here?" Mary let out an evil laugh and asked blue a question. Liquid Tragedy appeared as an accomplice. Liquid wanted all Blue's property and Money. Blue Angel died beside the bears, and a feet feet from Twiddler. Mary Poppins had supressed a secret love for him all these years.

The End

The Frisky Sims Dictionary

Boobies
the breasts of a female

ButtGrind
the back crack action

Cake
a secret code word used by skirts when talking about their private parts

Cyberfriendly
this is dirty talk with both hands placed firmly on the keyboard

CyberSex
tossing a modem down your pants or typing with one hand

Frisky
a term made popular by Marianne Cunningham on Happy Days, used to describe Tom's horniness

Let's Get Small
a term created by steve martin and a synonym to stoned

LoL
a trick shortform to LOL aka laugh out loud

Look You Whore!
shrouded in folklore, this is an inside joke term from GiP. A sim was approached several times by a frisky newbie skirt. The sim was tired of rejecting the newbies hotkiss advances and yelled out "Look You Whore!?". This struck a funny chord with Mary and Twid.

Maze
a code term used for CyberSex. When sims say they are going to maze, they are really saying they are going to cyber.

Meow
Often written Meooooooooow?, or Meowwwwwww?, this term means many things. It can mean "I think that person has the fire down below" or "I am feeling frisky" or "Those two are going to cyber" or "I am going to cyber" or "Hella cool". 9 times out 10, it means "I am frisky".

Pee'd my frilly white panties
very excited

Petting The Pussy
a skirt playing sims with one hand

Playa
A sim that is on the make and dating many other sims at once

Playa with a capital P
A Playa that dates too many sims and often breaks too many sim hearts

Puffies
this can be boobies or it can be the tips of boobies

Pussy
a small fluffy domesticated feline animal

SimSlut
a term created by twiddler's RL wife to describe all players of TSO

VirtualVagina
a term created by twiddler's RL wife to describe the private area of skirts

What are you wearing
as in the initial move of chess, this is often a very early move in Cyber

backdafukup mofo
when playing the pointing game, this is a show of force to put your opponent on the defensive

dinky
the private parts of sim shirts

fdb or FDB
the short forms of fire down below

fire down below
a term that is very close to firsky but is usually used in conjunction with a certain sim in mind. Trisha has the fire down below? for Robert because she is running around in the nurses dress.

shirts
general term for male sims

skirts
general term for female sims

Vault
the most top secret gossip that cannot be shared

Pizza
a term used by frisky gnomer skirts to describe the private parts of a shirt

Full Pull?
a term used in tractor pull meaning a totally successful run. In sims, this is a full night of action, fun, and mischief.

The Five Levels Of Sim Romance

1. I like you
2. I wuv you
3. I luv you
4. I simlove you
5. I love you

Mary Poppins Birthday

The Birthday Party went in two waves. There was the initial wave that splashed in and partied early on. We did some wittling, ran around in cheerleader costumes, and conducted tours of the Lemon Lime Love Nest?. Things then got very quiet for and hour with only 4 or 5 of us in the house. All of a sudden, the graveyard shift poured in from 2am - server shutdown. It was freaky deaky. The hair was let down and the panties were pee'd as we broke out championship Truth-O-Dare? with the frisky option. I think at one point we had 3 dice spinning and 10+ players. It got chaotic.

Spartans
Em had the house decorated beautifully. I asked Mary how she and her friends were going to dress. Mary said "spartans". I ran over to the greek trunk and put on a white robe and sombrero. I came back and askd "so how do I look?" Mary replied "like a greek in a togo." Twiddler said "cool, I am a spartan!" Mary and Ariane howled and said "we are the cheerleading Spartans from SNL!" Twiddle was red in the face and made a quick switch.

Tour No.1 of the Lemon Lime Love Nest?
I decided to offer tours of Mary's infamous LLLN. I gathered up the crowd and we marched around Gnome In Paradise, single file, no running. Up the stairs we went, using password key 69, and we were in. There is something about the Lemon Lime that can make any sim kind of frisky. Twiddler sat between the two beautiful babes "Cheyenne and Siobhan". He then did his smooth yawn. Siobhan is the master of the cuddle couch threesome, and gave us the secret lessons. Soon things were getting kind of lovey dovey. Siobhan and Twiddler were liplocked, and then a quick switch was made and Cheyenne began to stroke Twiddler's thigh. Ariane, well she likes to watch. Another switch was made and Twiddler started to worry about Siobhan's fiance. Sio got scared and a quick switch was made back to the bodacious brunette.

And Lesbians
A birthday is not a sims birthday unless you see some hotkissing in the restroom. Mary Poppins and Blue Angel were feelin kind of dirty.

Tour No.2 of the Lemon Lime Love Nest?
It was the second wave of partying at Gnomes In Paradise. Off went the cheerleading closer and out came the skimpier attire. Mary and Besos wanted to see the couch in action. Bounced between brunettes and blondes, Twiddler was feeling no pain.

How To Do a Cuddle Coutch Three Way
This is a bug discovered by Jim who taught Sio who taught us last night.

1. have three sims sit on a couch
2. one of the end sims begins to cuddle the middle sim
3. the middle sim then clicks on the third sim and choses an option

I am not exactly sure how to get back to the first sim. I believe the third has to cancel and that works best. The middle sim can also cancel the third. You can continue swapping back and fourth as long you three like.

The Unwritten Rules of Sim Dating Edition No.2
Hula Babe asked if she could post the unwritten rules over at the zone. Her post and the comments have created some great new and interesting moral dilemma's that need to be addressed.
http://www.tsozone.com/myForum/threads.asp?tid=1261

Hula made some great comments and so did some of the other players. Here are some of the rules they thought of and some new ones as well.

18. Are you allowed to see other sims if your sim BF or GF stops playing or plays less?
19. When are you allowed to see other sims if your sim BF or GF plays less?
20. If you play two sims, do you have to tell your sim BF or GF?
21. If you play two sims, are they allowed to date different people?
22. If you have a sim BF or GF in Aphaville, can your other sim date players in JP?
23. If you have a sim BF or GF, can you have a Second Life or There BF or GF?
24. If you play a sim of the opposite sex, should you tell your sim BF or GF?
25. Can you sim date or be married and live in seperate house?

Frisky Truth Or Dare

Invisibile Sim?
Pete writes
Weird. Dunno if u have seen this before...dunno what it is, but I checked around and others saw it too. has left the property. I saw it happen twice!

EvilBed? Triple Feature
Pause (the bear) from Alphaville writes
I'm a big fan of your TSO Secrets website. Like you, I'm also suffering from TSO burnout and check your site everyday for new ways of keeping myself entertained in the game. After reading your entry about the evilbedT trick, I decided to have a small evilbedT party with some friends. Attached is a screenshot of how it turned out. Hope you like it ^_^. in the screenshot: Aunt Caitlyn, Holliwoode, and Jacqueline-M in bed, AdamC doing a handstand, and Pause doing the jazz dance.

Cherry Love reveals secret pics of her Pussy?

Cherry writes
Mary & Emilia can look at my kitten, the one you guy's was calling pussy last night, lol.:D I know have nothing do with sims, but I like to show them.

Jenji has the power of levitation
I was skilling up last night and was shocked to see Jenji and she was floating around, using her black magic powers of levitation.

Notorious Meets Infamous
I was searching for cooking house late last night. There are few skill houses open after midnight pst. I found a new place called "Q's Cooking" and flew in. I landed and guess who was at the front door? It was Capt Morgan! It's kind of funny that we have never really met. I enjoy reading Capt's posts on tsozone, and we have tons of friends in common. We might of met once before at GiP. Last night Capt and I figured out that it is probably because of our skills. He is creativity and charmisma, and I am cook and mech. We both have logic but I lock mine. Here is Capt at his best. Q's Cooking is short for Quistis , another blonde hottie of JP. I don't know about Capt, but Quistis had me under her mojo spell. :D I snuck in a ButtGrind? on the way out which Q also said she enjoyed giving sims. Meoooow?

Plumber's Mary and Twid
Plumber's Mary and Twid had a lot of work to do in Em's restroom. After work they headed over to Sam's and had a few drinks. A sign of a good plumber is some butt crack showin.

How To Play Frisky Truth Or Dare?
It keeps getting quieter in simland, but lately we've managed to make fun evenings out of nothing. Last night was "peeeee your frilly white panties". Em, Mary, Cherry, Niles and I, decided to continue Mary and Cherry's Frisky Truth or Dare Competition. Twiddler being an ocd control freak, had to make a series of rules so he could sleep at night ROFL

No.1 Get A dice
No.2 Very first roun you need to pick the person to be ASKER
No.3 Everyone else rolls the dice
No.4 Highest roller is the ASKEE (if any tie, they who tie roll again)
No.5 Askee picks Truth Or Dare
No.6 After the round ASKEE becomes ASKER and the others roll

Tips
Say your roll or else people get confused. If you say it in bubble, you can then CTRL H and check. It even helps more if one person yells outthe rolls as people spin. example Em 3, Mary 4, Cherry 1. Then it is very easy to CTRL H and review when things get funny or confusing. Sometimes two people click the dice at the same time...if you can't tell, do a do-over for both.

Now the game was so funny some of the time because some players are so nice or don't want to embarass people. Half the time I was spitting diet coke through my nose when Cherry and Niles would give out Dares. Both of them were very kind. There dares were like: "ok, run around the lot 3 times and jump into the swimming pool". Then Mary, Em and I would get them and the dares would be "see that random online sim named Johny Hudson in that house you never go to...IM him and ask him how long is his dinky?." Niles and Cherry quickly learnt how to dial their dares to the frisky side ROFL. I find the best Dares are making players do embarassing random IMs. Another good one might be sending a player out to attempt a hotkiss on a sim they dont know etc. Truths can also be very fun and embarassing. All of us had a super time and I am sure we will be playing again. If you are looking for some easy quick fun in simville, pull out a dice with your close friends and try Frisky Truth Or Dare?.

dinky™ and The Sims

For some unknown reason, every sentence uttered at Gnomes In Paradise, now must have a ? at the end. ROFL. If you live in any city, and are bored at any property, I urge you to use and promote the ?. It helps if you have a partner in crime to really hammer out the ? to get the crowd going. LOL. Mary Poppins and I cannot stop saying ?. I would argue that it is even more fun than pointing. There are three ways to get a ? into your bubble posts and IMs. Here they are

No.1 Use the Number Pad
if you hold down ALT and hit 0153, you will get an ?. This is the method of most for obtaining the ?.

No.2 COPY and PASTE
I am an old school copy and paster. I copy the ? from a web page like this one and then CTRL V it continually through the night. Its very fast. Here is one more trick...paste it into your player description at the very bottom so you can go and suck it from there, anytime you need it during the night. The servers will erase it each night, but it is good for one play session.

No.3 Character Map
Click START then Programs then Accessories then System Tools and then Character Map. Then about 3/4 of the way down the page, near the No. you will see ? Click it and then COPY it and you are good to go.

dinky?
Beside saying ? constantly, you might also try using the words dinky? and Boobies? in normal bubble talk. This seems to keep the crowd lively and frisky. Mary has been known to use the 3D VR glasses to zoom in.

Evil Bed?
There is a new Evil Bed? in town. This one sucks you in. One minute you are trying to sleep, the next minute it is quicksand. Here is how I think you can recreate the Evil Bed?. You need two people near a bed. The first one clicks to Sleep. 2 seconds later, the other person clicks to Make (so you need to be getting into an unmade bed. This seems to be what causes the sink.

Mary Poppins Shocking Shotgun Wedding

I decided to post twice today since some friends thought my first post meant that I was quitting. Sorry for the confusion. I am not quitting (I will at some point when I burnout LOL), I just didn't feel like trying to write a funny story earlier. Here is a quicky from no less than 5 minutes ago

Mary Poppins Shocking Shotgun Wedding
I dropped in on the wedding already in progress at Siobhan's pad. Mary was nervous about her new groom since she did not want him eat her but it was ok of he ate her out. The groom got nervous and was slow to answer. Soon [Wooden Bear] was speaking fluent english. Bear did enjoy the vibrating bear. Ariane Barnes made a good point about church.

Nani-No-Cook vs. The Twid

Chantal from Alphaville writes
by the way, not sure if you can use this shot, but it sure ties in with your boredom poll...A group of friends and I do a lot crawl every week, ending with a Mystery property, usually some brand new place that has one person, busting their butts trying to make it happen on a size 1 or 2 lot.The 15-18 of us will charge in hang a while, tip them like crazy, clean up, and give them a nice visitor bonus the next day. On this particular night, the bathroom was so teensy, we decided to do a clowns in a Volkswagen type of thing, you can't see exactly how many are in there because some of us are meshed with others!! Stay Tuned for more of "When Sims Get Bored!"

Zom from Zocor in Dan's Grove writes
I saw your recent column about adding the ? symbol in chat. You mentioned copying items from outside TSO and pasting them while IN the game. How do you paste? I can't right click to do it--it just causes the screen to center on me (not that that's a bad thing, but I digress.) How do I paste while in TSO? It would be helpful for my sim in JP so that the standard greeting at our shop could be cut and pasted instead of typed out the million or so times a day I do it! Of note, there is another option to the cut and paste technique for getting the TM symbol etc. Some copies of windows (Win 98 but not Win XP, I believe) have a copy of the character map under the start menu. You get a lay out of all the good unique characters as well as how to access them using the ALT key. To get there, go start, programs, accessories, system tools, character map. Click on what you like and the ALT code for that character shows up in the bottom right corner of the map.

Twiddler writes
The easiest way to paste is just a "CTRL V". Even when you are in Sims Online, you can CTRL C, CTRL X and CTRL V in the IM and Bubble widows. I just grab the TM before I enter the game or ALT TAB out and grab it.

Laptops are HOT

Enilk Libb VI in Test Center writes
Laptops are so cool in Test Center! Everyone wants one, and thanks to Stores' discounts I'm selling them for little more than half their catalog price! I sold 20 yesterday and demand continues to balloon! They are cool in that you can carry them around, and they can even play MUSIC! They are the sweetest things around! Too bad you guys don't get them...yet.

Cooking In Paradise
The "In Paradise" frazchise, famouse for "Gnomes" in Paradise, has brached out and is now taking on the word of "Cooking" with their second unit. All the "In Paradise" franchisees keep the basic floorplan the same, making it very easy for guests to find their way around. Lailani Nani is the owner of Cooking In Paradise and perhaps the most curious aspect about Lailani, is that she owns a cooking skill lot, yet refuses to cook. Hence the name Nani-No-Cook.

The Cha Cha Cha
Nani and Balikeye have started a new dance craze and are hoping it catches on. Repeatdly click "Twist and Sink" while typing some variation of "Cha Cha Cha" in bubble chat. Twiddler agreed to post this information while hesitantly sitting in his chair in vegas attire.

Nani-No-Cook vs. The Twid
Two powerful ninja's met on the island of truth in order to do battle. Could the fluorescent shirt overpower the slinky vegas gown? Twiddler was quickly in trouble. Nani-No-Cook was the boss of him.

Nani-No-Cook vs. The Twid 2
Twiddler returned with the power of the mojo wetsuit. Queen Nani was not scared. Behold the Power of the Nani! I think I just pee'd my panties. If Twiddler lost, he would be forced to bow. He was whipped. Nani-No-Cook forced him to kiss her belly, but her really blew a big raspberry in it as a sign of rebellion.

How To Get The Shirts
Ladies, take notes. She how Lani lures the men onto a thin swimming pool walkway and then traps them out there so the other skirts can't get to them.

Fashion Show With Mojo Mary
Mary was showin a little hard workin butt crack. Few people know that under Mary's polite and subtle red dress, exists a large pair of 36D torpedos.

Yes Lesbians
Lani and Fluffy sitting in a tree.

Pro Level Sims Pool Tricks

Let's Start Off With More Blonde Lesbians!
Sim Christina Aguilera might put up a good front that she's "straight" but I think the real truth comes up in the behind the scene stories. Last night I was swimming in her pool and hiding behing the bamboo bar when I secretly saw Kelly the BOSS Blonde propose to Christina! Then they started dirty dancing. Christina's lawyers have unsuccessfully tried to shut me down several times since she believe that somehow I distort the facts. Now here is an advanced trick for the reverse bubble talkers to get one over on the pointers. See here, look at what Christina just said to Kelly OMG!

Pro Level Pool Tricks
Here are some pro level tricks as conjured up by Kelly, Christina and Twiddler. You can actually take objects into the pool. The BOSS blonde blew our minds when she was able to take the first whackball into the pool. This set off a chain of pool trick events. The secret to getting into the pool with an object, is to click the water, and not the diving board. Click where? No Swim Here. That was a whackball to pool floor ollie, difficulty 7.5. I now hold in my hot little hands, a fine hand crafted, beechwood aged, ice cold ale. This is the swimming in pool with ale fakee, dificulty 8. Now only pro level pool tricksters should try this next trick. Pool side floater to AFK ale in hand ollie, difficulty 9. Now one of the harder tricks is getting out of the pool. I was attempting a sawgy burger in the shallow end 720 when I got stuck. There are two ways out of the pool. The easy bunnyslope method is to "put down the object" and let is contaminate the pool so more chloriene will need to be added. The super sly method of exiting the water is to click yourself, and then click AFK, and you will walk out of the pool, and perform a tile ollie to plate O burger front side.

Party Crashers Storm The Grizzly Saloon
Suzy Q and GeeGee were watching the pool antic and began asking for entry into the hermit's cave known to some as "Grizzly Bear Saloon". Few have gained access to the lair of the mountain man. "We want to have a party at your house!!!" Screetched the bikini babes. "Hell No!" said Twiddler. The girls were relentless but the wetsuit wearing lad resisted. Later that evening, Twiddler was back at the saloon and wearing pink stipper pants with no top. He was chasing miss Cytra around the pool tables in the infamous "nurses" uniform. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and BOSS blonde poofed in. Kelly spoke fast "Twid, there is a pack of frisky skirts headed this way!" Withing seconds, there was a pack of frisky skirts out in the snowbank! Twiddler quickly ran for the clothing rack and got into his indian gear. There was only one thing he could do...yep, fry up his world famous triple cheese grilled cheese sandwiches. After dinner, it was time for the number one sport in JP, I am talking about hot tubbing. Christina must of got into the sauce because she let her guard down yet again. Here is a rare brunette and blonde lesbian combo and Christina evens says a little spanish for us "bueno bella" which means "good beautiful" aka Meooooowwww. The girls quickly realized that there really wasn't much to do at the Grizzly saloon and began to fall asleep by the fires.

The Big Sims Online Race!

Utopian Mechanics Study
I was hanging out with the firey levitating redhead "Butterfly Lover", as she hammered some nails and put up a little drywall. Butterfly had just inherited a house from a friend and was remodelling. She must have damn nice friends because the young lad that gave her the house left 6 blue oriental couches, 6 turbo speed single beds, 6 stainless steel shower enclosures, a damn 25k Wishing fountain, and more mechanical study bookshelves than you can shake a stick at! I am guessing that Butterfly's pad will soon be the hot spot for mechanical study. I forgot if these fancy couches were any good to sleep on and so testing was in order. They do charge your comfort and energy, but they are one arrow and slow as toast. Golden-Jewel flew in and we got to chat. Jewel remembered me from 600 years ago on like day2 of beta back in JP pre-wipe. It turns out that we played a little code together. Back then, code was new and you did it the pure, by hand method. In those days, Twiddler wore a pink suit and sobrerro and was lead guitar for the rockband "The Padre, The Chick, and The Cheesehead". I remember those days when BunnyHop and I bought Maze and I thought "this sucks...how can anyone make any money at this contraption. I remember the first time we mazed

"ok, now walk 2 squares up and then tell me what you see"
"I think I see a wall on top of me and one on the bottom and I have yellow underneath"
"now go right for a total o 4 squares and then tell me where you are"

17 hours later we had completed our first Maze. :) Butterfly Lover, Golden-Jewel and I worked the bla bla and then a sissy fight broke out. I'll have to drop in on Butterfly today or tomorrow and check the remodelling progress.

That's a lot of logic
I was skill topping the logic at that popular lounge when young Jayde' flew into town. There is no busier logic spot in simtown, then Mech N'Logic Lounge. One thing I have often wondered is, why aren't there more dual Mech/Cook houses since they use the same bookshelf? Why do I love sims online? I won't lie to you...the ratio of skirts to shirts ROFL. Take that last screen cap for example, 6 skirts, 2 shits in the pic. LOL. You skirts have had it easy all these years...Quake, Half-life, EQ, UO, these are damn sausage factories with 10 guys to every guy. A chick shows up and has her pic of 16 horny mofo's. Well now the tables have turned...TSO is skirtsville ;) I'm singing Surf City Two girls for every boy. LOL

The Pointing Intensifies
The pointing game continued at a feverish pace at GiP. Once you start pointing, it becomes an addiction. There are few things as great in sims as "lesbians". I think the only thing that beats "lesbians" is "blonde lesbians". The trump card that takes all is of course blonde lesbian twins in a hottub talking dirty with Mary Poppins. Chia Chrome and Hamilee are perfect sim twins and the two were adding to the comic michief all evening. Soon we were all drawn to the ocean. Twiddler was frantically tried to show Cherry Love the locknessmonster while Mary Poppins squatted and the lesbain blonde twins discussed daily caloric intake. Cherry still couldn't see the danger, but more importantly, Em just jogged by and asked if her ass jiggles in her bikini and Hamilee lets her know. A crowd soon began to form as fear grew. Mary and Twiddler tried to warn Siobhan. (and you thought I was kidding about 2:1 skirts to shirts...did you see the math on that last slide? Aye Carrumba I love TSO). Now there is so much going on in this next slide that I can't even begin to describe it. In the middle of all the chaos, notice how Mojo Mary and Twiddler slide in a subtle game of "headbutt".

The Big Race
The race game has intensified. Back when were young, we used to race for free. Then a few years ago, we raced for $1000 a man. Now its the big leagues and race game has increased to "5 Large". Yep, don't even show up unless you have $5000 in your hot little hands. The blonde lesbian twins Chia Chrome and Hamilee, along with Cherry Love decided to see if they had what it takes to dethrone this years champ "Twiddler" and last years champ "Mary Poppins". Twiddler insisted that everyone run a test lap, and it's a damn good thing since people were running everywhere except in the correct direction. Even at the end of the race there was a technicality. I have to thank Em who is our official starter and judge. She keeps the chaos to a minimum. She's firm but fair. We opted for the big 3 lap race. The gun sounded and we were off. Hamilee quickly took the lead and was very tough. Twiddler was hot on her heels the whole way but could not close the distance. At the end, Hamilee was not sure of the track configuration and went wide. Twiddler got to the diving board first, but felt that Hamillee was the fastest runner and should be declared the winner since it was her first time at GiP speedway. Hamilee pocketed a cool 25 large for 5 minutes work. Here is the view from the GiP blimp. Here is the tricky corner No.2 with dangerous flamingo hazards.

Sleep Is For The Weak

I was at a house one time and I remember we were all talking about how little sleep were were getting because of Sims Online. One skirt then wrote "Sleep is for the weak" and we all howled. I even made a groovy Tshirt with that on it at Cafe Press! But I cant show it to you since it violates Maxis TOS since I used their logos and is for personal use only. Speaking of TOS (terms of service)..once again, things like the naked patch violate Maxis TOS. Use them at your own risk. I personally think Maxis is most concerned about third party cheating scripts that max skillls or exploit a cash bug. There is also fear that such hack scripts could come loaded with a trojan which could capture credit card data or worse. More on sleep in a moment ;)

Casinos
I predict that when the roulette and slots hit the cities, there are going to be 10 casinos for every sim LOL. There are a lot of casinos in the works. What does this all mean? It means, if you have a casino, you better have a way to differentiate yourself from the others. You better have a very cool property or be open all hours or have "loose" slots. I just thought of a new idea that might make a property popular or you could use it in your advertising. Do you remember when Dominio's used to be 30 minutes or free? We all used to order their 24/7 and I bet everyone won a free pizza or two. One of the things I hate when I am at a property is "running out of food". I think the one property that ruled at food serving was MECH aholics aGNOMEymous. They had food down. Here is something you might consider in your casino...if anyone yells "There is no food" because the food ran out or got flies...they get $1000. OR everyone in the damn room gets $1000. This means that you will NEVER run out of food or you will pay LOL. I think that might be a fine marketing angle. Here is another idea sort of along those lines "if you ever find any item that needs repair, you win $1000". Simple and added fun for finding a broken item. Now Gidget was preparing for her casino opening last night. Christina called me up for some mech repairs and it was cool since I had not seen two sims haggling before. These two were tough hagglers and both were being extra kind to the other so it was fun watching them trying to make a deal. Gidget has so much stuff, I was certain she was opening one of the new stores. I got to repair my stove model, the Old Thyme. Twiddler used his proprietary hug pricing system and Gidget was very kind and gave him a tip!

Mazing With Jayde'
I was working on my double chocolate Devil's Food Cake at some cooking joint, skill topping, when I got chatting with a sexy blonde skirt named Jayde'. Her profile had several interesting items in it and so I quized her. I remember one quote was something like "men are stinky and women are smelly" ..ok.. it didn't say exactly that ;) but something like that and so we started to babble. It turns out that Jayde' was an ex-Alphaville keener. I am telling you, there are no keener sims than the ones in Alpha =) You know who you are. They all want the most balloons, most cash, most popular property, and longest penis. If you don't have 4 skills in alpha, you have to hang your head in shame. If you don't have $250,000 in the bank in AV, you are like below the poverty line. LOL. Well Jayde' had made $1,000,000 from playing maze in Alpha. Now that is a hella large amount of maze play! Jayde' had the money, fame, and boytoys, but her life was missing something. I think Jayde' yearned for the hottubs of Jollypines. In Jolly, it is very important that you hottub almost as long as you skill. You should be in your swimsuit 20% of the time ;) Jayde made the hop to JP. We decided to play some maze are her current house called CASH aMAZEment. You may recall that when I play maze with a new partner, that is a sure sign that I am going to crack under pressure and blow every maze up. Grizzly babe Cytra and I have that wierd maze mental bond thing going on, but with anyone else I lose it. With hottie Jade at her old "Rock City Charisma Mall", I cracked in 35.4 seconds and we made about $800 in one green sessions. With Hula Babe and a Half, I cracked in 57.6 seconds and we might of made $804.37 in one green sessions. I prepared Jayde' for the worst. I was extra scared because she was a rare million dollar mazer. She plays more maze in a week than I have in a year! We start out and I quickly begin to fall apart...ROFL. I issue the "sorry" command. Jayde' quickly whips me into shape "don't say sorry! I'll tan your ass if you say sorry one more time. This was great since it calmed me down. Have you ever played Hacky Sack? We used to have a great rule playing hacky sack...if you say sorry, the person with the sack gets to drill it at your nuts. This quickly stops you from ever saying sorry. Jayde and I ended up playing two great rounds of maze and earning right around $10,000. If Twiddler didn't know better, he might think Jayde' was chatting him up! Words like "sim celebrity" "popular sim editor" and more, had Twid's head so big, Jayde literally had to install a second door so he could get out of the room. Hee hee hee. It was great fun mazing with Jayde'.

My 3 Favorite Maze Errors

No.1
Type into hyper space - have you ever typed 20 moves in a row and then got ready to hit enter and there are not instructons to be found? They were typed into a blackhole and are now magically gone. Flames shoot out my nose when I do that one :P

No.2
Type into bubble - This is another favorite. Here I am catching myself doing that last night with a s w>

No.3
Type a huge string but drop one direction - This is a favorite of mine. I'l type a 20 move string and then the 11th instruction with be missing the direction 3w 2n 1w 3n 1e 1 1s 1w 1s 3w and I have no idea what it was. LOL That is usually cause for a celebration of four letter swear words. :)

Sleep is for the weak
I was talking with Jayde and Mary and some of the other sims and found out there are a lot of sims that work the graveyard shift and sleep 5 hours or less. LOL I am guilty of this as well. During the week I hit the hay at 4am and get up around 9am because Candy the dog wants a walk. I'd swear that I can feel my heart pumping all day when I sleep this little and hear ringing in my ears. Well check this out...there are some new studies that show that people who sleep 5 hours or less are 82% more likely to have heart attacks. Oh My! LOL

The Evil Bed Five

Want some melon? I'm magellan I'm so gellin
Man it was a busy night in simville. 3 busy guy plumbing, we're busy busy busy. I started out topping off the skills at the cooking emporium when what did I spy? A 5 skill keener on the way to 6! After that the night got jammed packed with a wedding, meeting an old friend, wittling the gnome and more. Here we go

The Evil Bed No.5
You would think that the skirt to skirt bond would be safe from the beds gone bad but "no'. For a second it looks like ShadieGirl is in the wine me dine me sixty nine position, when really she happens to be the fifth tragic victim of the evil beds. This picture is especially troubling when it is the first attack on a pair of beloved lesbians.

Shadie and LXIX acquire the romulan cloaking device
Perhaps the most cought after power in simland is that of invisbility. Somehow working in the potion lab, ShadieGirl and LXIX spilled some special sauce into the luv tub. That combined with an overdoes of gamma radiation rendered them cloaked. These two skirts now have the power.

Heatherrr (aka Heather Fairy) and Vortex Elope
I don't know if these two had the fire down below, wedding jitters, or just wanted to get it over with, but I got the IM while working the wittle "Twiddler, its me Heatherrr..we are eloping right now! Come to the wedding." I was flabbergasted. I also felt flakey and rude since I just asked Em to get the bouncers to let me slide in the back door to Gnomes In Paradise which was packed with 19 shirts and skirts! I decided to check with ShadieGirl and see if she would not mind coming to such an event. I was not sure what ton expect since I don't really know that crowd too well. The always sexy "frisky hellcat Shadie" met me outside Sweetie's once they put us on the A list. We hoped into our fancy duds and Shadie looked terrific as I nervously bounced around on my seat. The padre began to preach. Heatherrr and Vortex stood silent and proud as the ceremony continued. The wedding was suppose to occur March 2nd but I think Heatherrr and Vortex were excited to be doing it right then. Then there were the "I do's." Heatherrr then rejoiced with glee! After the ceremony there was hugs and handshakes and lots of wedding cake. Twiddler forget to check his mojo at the door and was working his magic on the blonde from pew 2. Hee hee hee...the blonde was actually Twid's old gnoming friend "Lani H" who he hadn't seen in like 5 years.

The Return Of Blonde Hottie Faye
Right after the wedding, I had to run out and meet up with Blonde Hottie Faye who had been missing in action since Christmas! Flying Hugs were had by all and we decided to hook-up over at Camp Chaulkboards which is a Top popular hangout, but I hade never been. There were chaulkboards to the left and there were chaulkboards to the right. Twiddler and Faye being crusty oldschool, opted to work the portions for blue koolaid. It was great fun seeing Faye back in simville.

Mary and Em Got Back
Twiddler was trying that new exploit of the 3D glasses to see thru the clothing of the skirts at GiP. Twiddler knows where to sit at GiP to get the very nice "Free Show!" Soon enough, Sio and Mary were trying to lure Twiddler back to Mary's retro lemon lime love nest.

The Frisky Gnomer Sex Test

It was full night of working the wood. The wittlers hopped in the shower to blow the stink and sawdust off. Here are a couple of secret tips on the code words used by gnomers at GiP (Gnomes In Paradise). The word "maze" now means "cybersex". If you see a player say "I'm going to play "maze"...well, they are really going to talk dirty in cyber. If they say "I love maze"...they are really saying they are nymphos. If they are skilling up to play maze...that means they are checking out some porn sites so they will have a larger cyber dialogue. Now if you ask anyone at GiP or elsewhere for that matter, they will deny it. Just give them a wink wink nudge nudge. Now the next word they are using in code is "cake". Cake is the private parts of a skirt. When you see these sims talking about cake...they are not really tallking about cake. Its all subtle code...but I cracked the code last night so now you are in like flynn. I had to keep the girls on their toes with the occasional cake question. Here Mary admits that we were chasing sims out the door with just so much cake talk. ROFL.

Later in the evening, it was 6 sexy skirts and a Twid. Em, Mary, Raine, Debhin, Cytra, and Twiddler wittling the wood and starred blankly at their 10,354th gnome. Twiddler reached into his secret wetsuit pocket and withdrew a peace of paper. On that paper were the notorios "Ten Sex Questions for Frisky Skirts That Gnome". Questions so racey, they cannot be placed on this website...or your hair might curl. Questions so frisky, Twiddler could barely get them out of his lips due to the pure embarassment. The first two questions stunned the skirts into silence. Twiddler began to toss the paper into the big round circular file. The girls yelled "Don't stop! Ask More!" The comic mischief continued and there was some peeing of the panties with laughter. The shocker of the evening was when Debhin stated that she was a "Bad Girl" and needed a "Good Spanking". Raine quickly put on the red and black rubber latex Dominatrix suit and was ready to punish. Twiddler was thinking this might turn into a JP lesbian moment and he held his camera steady. Suddenly it was Judy french kissing on Deb! Skirts be warned...Ten Sex Questions for Frisky Skirts That Gnome REDUX is now hot of the press :)

The Cities Are Getting Busy Again!
I think the player base has finally stopped shrinking. All this week the TOP10 property list is very lit up and the houses are busy. My bookmarks haven't been this lit since christmas. I think the game is growing once again and players are back into the daily fun playing routine.

You touched my boob you perv! Yelled Christina

Chilling on BC Bud
It was a fun night for simland. The cities were less dark that earlier in the week. I was delighted to hear from that tight navy capri wearing bombshell "Siobhan"! Sio was now terrorizing the shirts of interhogan and had some great stories to tell. Earlier in the evening, Twiddler met up with Cytra over an Debhin's Castle. We all admired the penis shaped room that was now painted a lighter shade of pink. The odd thing about this room is that I imagine Debhin created it to get us all frisky, and then she has the nerve to fill it with single beds...what's up with that?! LOL. Debhin teased us with a treasure hunt goose chase to which Mort knew the answer. I think Cytra and I explored every square inch of the castle. The three of us decided to chill and take a few hits of fine b.c. bud.

"You touched my boob you perv!" Yelled Christina
Very early in the evening I was hanging at Kelly's pub with Kelly, Christina, Junior and Cherry Love. Christina was on her best behavior and staying away from the hard stuff. She started to get ornery when we began gnoming. Christina HATES gnoming. The first thing she did was race us to the four gnome stations and began building a gnome at each spot. She then warned "anyone touches my gnome and they are dead meat!" The three of us were not sure how to proceed. Christina was getting feistier by the minute. Then it all happened. Christina was kicking up turf as she kung fu's the poor flamingos...Junior kindly tried to brush some of the grass off Christina's shirt, and all hell broke loose. Junior was now the target of Christina's rage. He could barely eat 3 bites of his burger without being taunted relentlessly. The two finally squared off at the point where it all started. For the next two hours, the two had a Battle Royal. Christina faught to the point of exhaustion an beyond. In the end, Christina 7, Taco Head 5.

Lesbian's
All that wrestling gave Christina the fire down below.

New Patch
I think the new patch will have at least one great feature...the ability to LOCK a single skill so it never degrades. This is very nice and should save on the countless study hours. I am not sure if that patch goes into effect today or soon. I believe the band objects is getting closer as well. There is a McDonald's snack cart also being introduced.

Mature Sexual Themes At The Castle

Debhin yells NOOOOOO
It was a simple evening in simville. Twiddler was out and about and wittling the gnome for no good reason. He had bought everything he wanted to buy, but was accumulating simoleans since he had nothing better to do. Half way though the evening, Debhin IMd the lad and invited Twid and several others over to the castle. Debhin was a master of the IM. Where most people juggled 3, she would juggle 5. Only the pro-level IM masters know how to juggle 5. You have to be fast as lightening and click off each window right as you respond to free up a spot for the new IM to arrive. Dev could IM with the best of them. Twid arrived at the house and decided to green up in the guest room. Debhin was IM chatting with Twid when she zoomed out to see what Twid was up to. Horror struck her heart. She was a gasp. She told Twiddler what she had just seen. She then said in a very serious tone... "Twiddler, if you every say a word of this to any living soul, I will hunt you down and murder you in your sleep with my own bare hands!" Twiddler held his stomach and let out a big belly laugh. Debhin screamed in fear.

Twiddler stood silently and thought about his options. There was soon to be a gala affair at the old Castle in the next hour. Should he keep this secret under his hat? Should he let it out carefully? Should he wait for an opportune time? Soon the castle filled with guests from around simland. People were singing, dancing, talking into mirrors, and playing piano. Mort and Twid bantered about screen capture utilities. Mort let slide that he bought his software to capture live video stream from porno sites! Soon porn jokes filled the air. Twiddler was squirming on the edge of his computer logic chair. His head was ready to explode. He could not hold in the secret much longer... "Has anyone ever been to www.Ihaveacastlewithaguestroomshapedlikeapenis.com" ? The room got quiet and any people had a look such as this on their face o_O Marlaina knew right away and yelled "Twiddler! I am going to Pile Drive you to Calvin's Creek!"....and then Debhin yelled "Let's get him!".

Twiddler was on the run. He quickly slipped up the stairs and into the guest room. The guests were all confused and not sure what was going on. Twiddler, who had not won any spelling bee's, began to shout about phallic architecture. The room erupted. It was pandemonium. Twiddler decided made a run for the restroom. It was too late! Marlaina had him trapped and she was about to adminster punishment. Within minutes, everyone was screaming the word "penis" at the top of their lungs. Marlaina gave Twiddler a spanking and made him promise no more late nights, no more drinking, no more women, and no more swear words.

Three minutes and 52 seconds later, Twid was back on the prowl and trying to see up Judy Patooty's hot dress when she bent over to rack the pool balls. Judy then admitted that she felt the dress was not as flattering as it could be and Twiddler tried to smooth that over.

How Smoothie Did 47 Pizzas

Smoothie writes
Yes we hit 47 pizzas in one greening session. The players were myself (Smoothie) although I think I was actually playing on my 2nd account (The Pool Boy), x Jeff x, Shauna Buttercup, and Kittietatt. You can ask any of them for verification on Alphaville. We didn?t set out to break any records but luckily the Pizza Gods were on our side that day. I?ve hit 42 with 2 different groups also. I can?t remember who was in the first group, but the second time it was myself, Kimberlito, The Baron, and Go Kashiwagi. This was only my 2nd round of playing with The Baron, I must say he did well to allow us to get to 42. It appears that the pizza payout is fixed now. It shows $1082 (or whatever) pizza payout, $0 bonus, $0 total payout and no money increased. Oh well it was good while it lasted.

Hula Babe and Sonuva Beach

Who is that babe? Why it's Hula Babe!

Sonuva Beach
One of the most popular properties in both the old and new Jolly Pines is "Sonuva Beach". Maggie May and I always enjoyed hanging at Hula's pad. There was always a study session or game of code. I hadn't seen Hula in a few weeks and last night we got caugh up with some IMing. Hula is a sought after babe right now with her elusive "10 body". I can't say exactly why a ten body is hot right now except that it has to do with some pizza comic mischief LOL. Check out this cool fly over view where Hula and crew have an S.O.S. and arrow built into their landscaping. I stold one of Hula's design ideas for the Grizzly saloon even! She used to use beach plants as walls around the washroom...and that's where I got the idea to use objects, other than walls, as walls :) Here is a screen cap of Sonuva Beach and "Hula Babe". One last thing...Hula tells me the computer geniuses of Sonuva Beach have a pro-level Sims Online site up and running. Check out their great site at
http://www.tsozone.com/

Piper Halliwell writes
If you cover Jolly Pines, our Wiccan wedding will take place on January 18th at 10pm eastern under the full moon at Water Witch Grove in Jolly Pines. Well wishers may attend a pre-wedding gathering at 9pm eastern. Due to a closed circle ceremony, only invited guests may attend the ceremony. Piper and Rhys will be attended by 4 friends as watchtowers of the the circle: JLionheart: south, Pheobe Halliwell: west, Cobweb: east and Ravenmoon: north. The ceremony will be conducted by High Priestess SunDogDeb. Following the wedding the Esbat Ritual will be conducted by Evening Rose.

Jade is Fastest At Code Breaking

So I am hanging out with sexy Jade over at Rock City when Jade asks if I would be interesting in a friendly game of code. I hadn't played code in a month and thought it would be great fun. Jade invited over her friend Barry the Bear. Little did I know that I was meeting the fasted two code players on planet earth.

I asked the kids if they called or used the chart or used psychic powers to solve the sequence...I'm pretty easy going about code and will play chart or sans chart or anything. I think i actually love researching the logic behind the charts as much or more than code itself LOL Jade and Barry informed me that they were silent code players. This scared me a little since I had read about it and new that we had to all be on the same page so I asked "what chart do I need to print out...Hermoine, Jandrea, Thraxis?".

Jade and Barry Replied "no chart...we do it from memory"
I was like WTF? and I had that funny look on my face that I often get. Its one thing to solve the code by hand, but it is another thing to have three people to solve it by hand simultaneously, and it is a third thing to have three people solve it without charts, by hand, simultaneiously. Want to know how they did it? I will reveal their secrets in a moment. I had to think about what they were doing for a few hours today and then it all made sense. I'm now a believer and would say that Turbo Silent code is the only way to fly.

Since I was a turbo silent noob, Jade offered to call for me. I settled into the Mech position, and started to get my jokes warmed up for when we started to roll. Most code teams take 2.5 to 3 minutes per solve. This allows ample time to sing, dance an IM the skirts (shirts if you are fem sim). The game began. Jade began hurling letters at me at break neck speed. Since they already knew their parts, she only had to yell out one single letter "a........b..........a.......c". We were solving code like there was not tomorrow. I was terrififed! I was sitting on the edge of my seat with my head 6 inches from my monitor, refusing to blink for fear that I would let these speed machines down! Barry and Jade are talking about the weather, their stock portfolios, and flirting with various sims. Twiddler was scared to type anything. Every 15 minutes he willed up the strength to type in a courtesy.

Jade and Barry continued to banter back and forth about everything except code. I decided that I had to pull out my trusty stop watch in Allison Wonderland and Twiddler tradition. Here are 5 solves

1. 1:45
2. 1:23
3. 1:25
4. 1:10
5. 1:23

that is an 85.2 second average solve. that is 1:25 per sovle. I am used to 3 minutes! The codes could not be solved any faster. We were clicking letters as soon as they were available. The entire first set, only one mistake was made. Of course I was first to pop =) These two were Turbo Greeners as well! The second set Jade decided to give me a heartattack by not telling me the letters and asking if I remembered them. I gave her that same WTF?! look...LOL. I estimated that we were doing $4k-$5k an hour. I think Barry re-estimated it at $3k=$4k. Let me estimate it again. I like to pretend an hour is 45 minutes due to greening up. If we take 45 and divide by 85 seconds, that is 32 solves. Call it 30. Code max payout is $125

$3,750 an hour
AND, this is after they lowered code, not once, but at least twice! Remeber code used to be $200-$300! Here is the new low code pay.

Let's Talk Logic And Deduction And Charts
I want to take a minute and go on a small code tirade. :) I see so many posts on the Maxis board that have me pulling out my hair. I don't care who you are, code is solved using logic and deduction. Solving code is not magic. Charts are not cheating. No...your roommate cannot solve code in 3 moves on average. Charts are simply a flowchart representation of the deduction used to solve a puzzle. You can use the exact same logic without a chart, it's just easier to solve the 27 possible combos once, pencil them down, and then use the chart to save time and brain effort. Many Sims are not interested in the logic behind the charts, and are happy to use them to save time. Most of the charts have been optimized, which means there can be no moves made to make the charts any faster or efficient.

If you solve code, you methology has to be based on logic originally.
If you use a chart, that chart is a flowchart of the logic process.
Some chart systems are faster and more efficient than others.

New Secret - Theoretical Efficiency vs. Realistic Memory Efficiency
Jandrea was the first to solve for code, without guessing anything that could be wrong. This was also the system I tried to develop, but Jandrea solved it sooner and with the fewest possible moves. This is also a 95 move total logic chart. Very fast.This is a new entry. The professor has a theory that AAA does not come up enough and is not random. I don't agree with the professor's theory, but do like his attitude and attempt to find new angles on an old trick. It is very easy to misjudge probability. A quick example...BlackJack is almost a 50/50 game and so we feel we should win about half the time. Even so, you can easily have 9 losses in a row in a 3 hour session. Johnny Q Public believes his luck has run thin, where the mathematician says "that's probability theory for ya". I was attempting the same logic as Jandrea, where any guess had a chance of being correct. It only took me 4 revisions to get the chart right LOL

What Were Jade and Barry Playing and Why?
I am not exactly sure but it felt a lot like the Thraxis chart. Their logic was an AAA BBB system which is generally a hair slower than some of the other methods. Why not play the slightly faster charts? It took me a while to figure out, but now I think I see why. They also hinted this fact to me last night. Look the Madison modified Thraxis once again. See how the routes are long and narrow. There are like 5 major arteries here.

It is much easier to memorize things in sequence like on the Thraxis. Jade and Barry use their memories to follow down their chart system in their heads. I don't believe Jade has ever written their logic down. I would love to see it and would add it to the web site as the fastest chart for practical memory recall. I think I am code charted out. Give me the Dayquil. If I never play code again, it will be to soon LOL Just kidding. I want to be in with the fast and furious crowd and learn Turbo Code with Nos!

Allison Wonderland pulls out the stopwatch on solo job objects

Allison just wrote me an awesome chart she made on EVERY solo job object and the current time to completion.

Allison writes
Hey there, I thought you might find this info useful. I used a stopwatch to time each of the solo job objects and came up with these times. I did it twice on each to verify my results. They are a bit rounded off, but still might be helpful.

Potion station...............3 minutes, 50 seconds
Chalkboard...................4 minutes, 45 seconds
Canning station.............4 minutes, 30 seconds
Gnome station...............3 minutes, 40 seconds
Easel...........................3 minutes, 35 seconds
Typewriter :.................4 minutes, 10 seconds
Telemarketing...............4 minutes, 40 seconds
Pinatas........................4 mnutes, 50 seconds

This info provided by Allison is awesome. There are the good old gnomes in the second fastest slot. I am surprised by Easels. These time bring up many questions.

1. Is the payout per object even?

Does a gnome equal a logic chaulk solution? If the payouts are even, then we should all be using Easels.

2. Or does Maxis try to make total pay the same?

Perhaps the slower objects pay more and the fastest objects pay less? Then in the end, everything is equal and we can use any object we choose.

3. Is the best choice the highest pay?

Not always. For example, it if very very hard to find 16 people wanting to paint or cook. It is much simpler to find 16 mechers wittling gnomes. Even if gnomes and chaulk paid a little less than Easels, I would still do them since the groups are bigger. Things seem to go in waves in he game and mayne in a month we will all be painting. At that time I would shift. It is easier to ake money swimming with the flow.

email me if you know what the highest payouts are on some of these objects andy@lips.com I have heard some guess $400 with a pure 16 player team.
Thanks Allison for the great info!

The Sims Crack Pipe

Put down that crack pipe!
As Sio and Donnie always say "PDTCP!". I could not get that damn Sims crack pipe out of my lips until 4:30am last night. This game will be the death of me. Last night was a roller coaster of fun.

I hung out at the D&D (Debhin and Donnie) Castle for a little while, and then decided to head over the Jolly Pines to see if I could fix an error I made when building my shotgun shack. I read on the Sims mainpage that you can delete things like fireplaces by highlighting them and clicking delete on the keyboard. For some reason, you cannot sell back build objects. After 20 tries, I was able to delete the smaler fireplace and replave it with the big one. I had to move it off the wall and into no man's land. I told Cytra this trick and she tried it and it did not work, so it might take some fiddling if you attempt it.

Over in JP I am banging hammer and nails as I build a lodge up on one of the snowny mountains. My neighbor "Maggie May", is a snow lodge master builder and I hope to go to her for tips and tricks. You might say I don't have a pot to piss in at the new place, but I have some fine Grizzly bears, and 5 damn warm fireplaces that never turn off =) Its warm and cozy. I save all my money for more Grizzly bears.

I think I look like a gnome at this point. This joint was jumping. My skill levels are an awesome 0 0 0, but I wanted cash so hammered out a few $80 gnomes. I bumped into the always sexy "Siobhan" who was wittling wood with the busy crowd for mechers.

When there are no skirts to chase, it's then time to move onto skin tight, dark navy, hip hugging belly showing blue jeans. I think I am in love. Siobhan showed me her new outfit and I am now putty in her fingertips. I was deep under the spell of the blonde goddess. Sweat was dripping from my brow....although this might be partially due to the the 5 raging fires behind me.

The shotgun shack was busy. It would seem that woman appreciate grizzly bears and fires! Hottie Miss Aarah came by for some fireside Sim chat and gossip which Twiddler loves to spread. Some of you know Aarah in a former life as Marlaina. She is a hot skirt but the Twiddler is a man of self preservation and avoids getting the "pile driver" at all costs. Rumor has it that Aarah has a new bo in her life who is quite the sugar daddy.

put down that crack pipe
I got the shakes. 4 hours sleep. Need starbucks fast. Head is hurting. No logging on until 11pm! That is the rule I live by. =)

The Wile E Coyote Sly Method of Starting Code

Here is an old trick that I enjoy almost as much as playing code. Tamarind and I are the masters of this manouver. In any house, I bet you've seen it 100 times ..."anyone for code?". Then Aunt Shirley yells out "pick me! pick me!". Then Billy Bob races over and glues himself to the body station. Then that guy you hate says "I'll be mech". Now you have 6 people all fighting for 3 slots on code. The people you wanted to play with are forced out, and code becomes less fun.

Tam and I set up the game using our patented Wile E Coyote stealth system. If we dont know anyone in the house, we starting looking for nice Sims with a skill that compliments ours. We then send the secret IM "Hi Marge, Tam is logic, I am mechanical, and I see you have a fine little body on you...would you be interested in a game of code?". Nine times out of ten that person says yes. If not, try another. I then usually IM back to Marge saying "ok, I need to pee and Tam needs to sleep...are you almost ready to go? We will meet at the electric guitars in T-5". It's always amusing that no one wants to play code, and then everyone wants to play code and it is a wild stampede.

When the three Sims in your covert party are green , you then give the signal to start moving slowly. You don't want to tip of your hand just yet. Now it is time to toss up some fake bubble writing to confuse Roger The Rude Sim. Find some object near the code machine that you can babble about. "My oh my...a potion machine...I have never made a potion before...Tam and Marge... would you like to make a potion?" That is the signal! The three of you now run like the wind and hop on that damn CBU unit as fast as you can. Then cheer with bubble writing delight! You have outfoxed Roger the Rude Sim. Ha Ha! Life is good.

Practical Jokes For Sim Pool Parties from Bunnyhop
My old roommate told me this little jem. Invite all your Sim friends over for a pool party. Once they are all swimming, remove the ladder. Hee hee hee ..that is nasty =)

Sims Online Gnomes

The gang was had at work in the gnome building castle. Debhin, the slave driver that she is, was forcing us to work a double shit with no overtime. She even made Donnie (lower right) wear that new OSHA approved wood working safetly helmet. I believe he has filed a grievance with local Gnome Builders Union 6500

I have to admit that I like the single player object for money. I know they are not as good as pizza, code and maze, but they are almost as good and they are 100 times more social. You have to concentrate playing maze or you fall behind. We played code and it was fun but I was sweating bullets calling and it makes it hard to joke and IM :) And besides that...I found I have flipped 5 answers in my chart a they were wrong...haa haa haa. I fixed it and re-added it online.

Here is the math as I see it for Gnome vs Code
Code is usually a 2 minute average round for guessing. With three 11 players, you will get around $200. You are then making around $6000 an hour (if everything goes perfectly). With Gnomes and 8 builders, you are $300 a gnome in 3 minutes if you are 11. That is around $6000 an hour. They are very close to even.

Even if you have just three people, single object are not bad. Last night we were 11 11 4 on code and making $130. On gnomes with three we were making $150. Code was probably better, but again...with single objects...you just plant you sim and forget about him/her. Its then time to chat, IM, look around the house, go for a RL pee, drink some rum and coke, and east some flaming hot cheetos.

I have one big secret for you today. It is so large and turbo charged that I have debated not saying it. Since it was posted on the Sims main BBS, I think it is only a matter of time before they block it, and so I will post it :) Keely Babeson is the pro-level, black ninja master of maze. She and her husband have logged more hours than anyone. I have met several very good maze players. My friend Cytra at the Silver Dollar is a master maze player as well. Most maze pros will tell you that they can do $10,000 an hour in maze. Keely posted that she and her husband began "charting" the mazes. She had a theory that they repeated (many have also wondered this about code). She has charted 25 mazes and believes there are 100 total. She and her husband put the smack down and did $500,000 in 20 hours of play! Woweeeeee! Keep that under your hats ;)

Everyone nervously awaits the grand opening and ship dates of Dec17/18. I know Donnie, Maggie and I are ready to break into Jolly Pines the second the doors open. JP is due to open in 4 days or less!

Secret - Rude Person Revenge

I just read this post by Leon and it's damn cool. If a rude person is at your house and you want him out, wait until they use the bathroom and lock them behind a paydoor set to $100 or $200. You will make money more times than you think :) You can then kick them out or ban them, once you get some coin.

Gnome's For $4000 and hour - Maze $10,000 an hour - CBU pop secret

It's a big '3 SECRET FRIDAY' here at Sim's Online Secrets =) Before I forget, here are two stories on TSOL.

Huge Gamespot Interview With Will Wright
If you want to read a massive interview with the creator of the Sims, then check this out. There are some amazing stats on TSOL like $25 million budget! 500,000 players on the email list. 40,000 players in the beta. Over 50% of players are female. They believe there are 4 types of massively multiplayer game

1. 'people suck' who torture their sims like Daria on MTV
2. socials
3. builders
4. money ladder achievers
read more here
http://gamespot.com/gamespot/features/pc/simsonline/

Live Chat With Maxis Today
Madison just emailed me this last night...Members of The Sims Online team will be available to take your questions in a chat on TheSims.com this Friday, December 6th at 6pm PST.
http://www.thesims.com

Secret - Gnomes for $4000 an hour (from Deb)
I think I mentioned this once before. It was Deb that first tipped me off to it from the main sims BBS. If you have high Mech, and 8 Gnome stations, you can make a Gnome every 3 minutes and earn right around $4000 an hour depending on green up time. I think you make around $200 a Gnome with 8 people there. Last night, Donnie, Debhin, Maggie May and I, started wittling the wood and were making $160 a gnome with 4 of us. The nice thing about it is "its fun" since you can chat and carry on, where code is more like work. This same thing works with blackboards and potions, but I am not sure on the earning amounts.

Secret - Maze for $10,000 an hour (from Crysta and the Gold Fish Lads)
I am a little surprised that this is not as well known. I first discovered it hanging at "the Gold Fish" in Jolly Pines. If you have a max Charisam Player and a max Logic player, and you are good at your maze signals, you can make $10,000 a RL hour. It is work like code though.

Secret - Extend code breaking time when you pop (from Debhin)
Debhin found a new way to get more out of code when you hit red. I am not sure if I have this exactly right...but when you pop, one man/girl jumps off teh code breaker and hugs you one or two times. This can give you enough boost to get back in the game for about 15 RL minutes. I was talking to Donnie and he might have a world record. In two sessions lasting a little over an hour, he and Debhin and one friends used this technique for two long sessions and did $23,000 two nights ago...WOW. He was the machine owner. This will not happen now with the reduced payout.

The Padre, The Chick, and The Cheesehead

The first week of the game was all exciting and new. Here is Bunnyhop, the house owner wearing nothing but his fluffy boots, the ever sexy roomy Kendal, and me as the Pink Padre skirt chasing Colonel. I think I enjoy the pink suits from always beaing the stylish pink Scientist in Half-Life

Bunnyhop and Kendal haven't been on too much lately. I try and play everynight from 12-2. Our house is called "Party Palace" and I would have to admit that it is an odd named since there has never been a single party there. Another good choice would of been "Hermit's Library" =) The three of us jammed good and hard and made new friends and got some good skill gains that evening.