Sims Online Secrets - secrets and stories from the sims online

The Unwritten Rules Of Sim Couples

What is Sim socially acceptable behavior? Are you dating a Sim? Seeing a shirt or skirt? Maybe you are going steady? Perhaps you are engaged or even married? In Simland, just as in RL, there are unwritten rules of conduct for sim socially acceptable behavior. I don't think there are any hard and fast, black and white rules. Every sim couple is different. I've often found newer players to be either extra conservative or extra liberal. Often the more conservative player considers the game as an extension of real lfe. The more liberal viewed sims often tell me "its just a game". After some time, I find both tend to get more moderate. The stricter player lets their hair down, and the lossey goose tend to tighen up. Here is a spectrum of things that sim couples might debate. Where would you draw the imaginary lines for the unwritten rules?

Would you allow your sim partner to...

- hug another sim
- dance with another sim
- slow dance with another sim
- hot tub with another sim at a busy property
- hot tub with another sim alone on a property
- sweet kiss another sim
- hot kiss another sim
- dip kiss another sim
- wear certain skanky clothes in front of another sim
- sleep in a double bed with another sim
- cuddle couch aother sim
- cuddle bed aother sim
- cuddle tub another sim
- IM or bubble about sex with another sim
- IM or bubble cybersex with another sim

You might also consider the above points in terms of giving and receiving. Receiving might be seen as less of an action than is giving. ;) You might also take a step back and say "if I am married in RL, is my sim allowed to do any, some or all of the items on that list?" The questions now get even more complex! If I am married in RL, can I email, instant message, or call my sim partner on the telephone? Is this over a new set of imaginary lines? Can I meet my sim partner at a maxis sim social event? Can I go for starbucks with my sim partner, alone at a sim social event? Can I drink a pitcher of ale and have shooters at Club54 with my sim partner while living la vida loco? ROFL hee hee heeee. What are the unwritten rules of sim socially acceptable behavior? Only you can decide.

The Shotgun Wedding, Bizzare Accident, and Jealous Lover

The Shotgun Wedding
In a suprising development, Twiddler the grizzly mountain man asked Blue Angel for her hand in marriage. The two eloped and exchanged vows within the hour at Heart's Retreat in front of a small crowd consisting of Blue Angel's close friends "Liquid Tragedy and "AndR". The paparazzi were a buzz "where was Mary Poppins?"

A Bizarre Chainsaw Accident
The workaholic Twidddler, raced home after the honeymoon to complete his 420th hand chainsaw carved wooden bear. Mrs Blue Twiddlesticks, as her friends liked to call her, decided to stop in at Gnomes In Paradise for a Burger and Fries. She was served both meals by Mary Poppins, who was noticeably missing at the wedding party. Mary gave Blue the food "on the house". Blue arrived at the Grizzly Saloon and was stricken with horror as she found Twiddler lying dead on his back. In a bizarre bear carving accident, the chainsaw jammed, bucked, striking Twiddler in the forehead, killing him instantly. He died doing what he loved.

The Jealous Lover
Blue Angel Twiddlesticks began walking out of the Twiddler's bear area. She was started by Mary Poppins, who gave her an evil point. Blue asked "Mary, what are you doing here?" Mary let out an evil laugh and asked blue a question. Liquid Tragedy appeared as an accomplice. Liquid wanted all Blue's property and Money. Blue Angel died beside the bears, and a feet feet from Twiddler. Mary Poppins had supressed a secret love for him all these years.

The End

The Frisky Sims Dictionary

Boobies
the breasts of a female

ButtGrind
the back crack action

Cake
a secret code word used by skirts when talking about their private parts

Cyberfriendly
this is dirty talk with both hands placed firmly on the keyboard

CyberSex
tossing a modem down your pants or typing with one hand

Frisky
a term made popular by Marianne Cunningham on Happy Days, used to describe Tom's horniness

Let's Get Small
a term created by steve martin and a synonym to stoned

LoL
a trick shortform to LOL aka laugh out loud

Look You Whore!
shrouded in folklore, this is an inside joke term from GiP. A sim was approached several times by a frisky newbie skirt. The sim was tired of rejecting the newbies hotkiss advances and yelled out "Look You Whore!?". This struck a funny chord with Mary and Twid.

Maze
a code term used for CyberSex. When sims say they are going to maze, they are really saying they are going to cyber.

Meow
Often written Meooooooooow?, or Meowwwwwww?, this term means many things. It can mean "I think that person has the fire down below" or "I am feeling frisky" or "Those two are going to cyber" or "I am going to cyber" or "Hella cool". 9 times out 10, it means "I am frisky".

Pee'd my frilly white panties
very excited

Petting The Pussy
a skirt playing sims with one hand

Playa
A sim that is on the make and dating many other sims at once

Playa with a capital P
A Playa that dates too many sims and often breaks too many sim hearts

Puffies
this can be boobies or it can be the tips of boobies

Pussy
a small fluffy domesticated feline animal

SimSlut
a term created by twiddler's RL wife to describe all players of TSO

VirtualVagina
a term created by twiddler's RL wife to describe the private area of skirts

What are you wearing
as in the initial move of chess, this is often a very early move in Cyber

backdafukup mofo
when playing the pointing game, this is a show of force to put your opponent on the defensive

dinky
the private parts of sim shirts

fdb or FDB
the short forms of fire down below

fire down below
a term that is very close to firsky but is usually used in conjunction with a certain sim in mind. Trisha has the fire down below? for Robert because she is running around in the nurses dress.

shirts
general term for male sims

skirts
general term for female sims

Vault
the most top secret gossip that cannot be shared

Pizza
a term used by frisky gnomer skirts to describe the private parts of a shirt

Full Pull?
a term used in tractor pull meaning a totally successful run. In sims, this is a full night of action, fun, and mischief.

The Five Levels Of Sim Romance

1. I like you
2. I wuv you
3. I luv you
4. I simlove you
5. I love you

Mary Poppins Birthday

The Birthday Party went in two waves. There was the initial wave that splashed in and partied early on. We did some wittling, ran around in cheerleader costumes, and conducted tours of the Lemon Lime Love Nest?. Things then got very quiet for and hour with only 4 or 5 of us in the house. All of a sudden, the graveyard shift poured in from 2am - server shutdown. It was freaky deaky. The hair was let down and the panties were pee'd as we broke out championship Truth-O-Dare? with the frisky option. I think at one point we had 3 dice spinning and 10+ players. It got chaotic.

Spartans
Em had the house decorated beautifully. I asked Mary how she and her friends were going to dress. Mary said "spartans". I ran over to the greek trunk and put on a white robe and sombrero. I came back and askd "so how do I look?" Mary replied "like a greek in a togo." Twiddler said "cool, I am a spartan!" Mary and Ariane howled and said "we are the cheerleading Spartans from SNL!" Twiddle was red in the face and made a quick switch.

Tour No.1 of the Lemon Lime Love Nest?
I decided to offer tours of Mary's infamous LLLN. I gathered up the crowd and we marched around Gnome In Paradise, single file, no running. Up the stairs we went, using password key 69, and we were in. There is something about the Lemon Lime that can make any sim kind of frisky. Twiddler sat between the two beautiful babes "Cheyenne and Siobhan". He then did his smooth yawn. Siobhan is the master of the cuddle couch threesome, and gave us the secret lessons. Soon things were getting kind of lovey dovey. Siobhan and Twiddler were liplocked, and then a quick switch was made and Cheyenne began to stroke Twiddler's thigh. Ariane, well she likes to watch. Another switch was made and Twiddler started to worry about Siobhan's fiance. Sio got scared and a quick switch was made back to the bodacious brunette.

And Lesbians
A birthday is not a sims birthday unless you see some hotkissing in the restroom. Mary Poppins and Blue Angel were feelin kind of dirty.

Tour No.2 of the Lemon Lime Love Nest?
It was the second wave of partying at Gnomes In Paradise. Off went the cheerleading closer and out came the skimpier attire. Mary and Besos wanted to see the couch in action. Bounced between brunettes and blondes, Twiddler was feeling no pain.

How To Do a Cuddle Coutch Three Way
This is a bug discovered by Jim who taught Sio who taught us last night.

1. have three sims sit on a couch
2. one of the end sims begins to cuddle the middle sim
3. the middle sim then clicks on the third sim and choses an option

I am not exactly sure how to get back to the first sim. I believe the third has to cancel and that works best. The middle sim can also cancel the third. You can continue swapping back and fourth as long you three like.

The Unwritten Rules of Sim Dating Edition No.2
Hula Babe asked if she could post the unwritten rules over at the zone. Her post and the comments have created some great new and interesting moral dilemma's that need to be addressed.
http://www.tsozone.com/myForum/threads.asp?tid=1261

Hula made some great comments and so did some of the other players. Here are some of the rules they thought of and some new ones as well.

18. Are you allowed to see other sims if your sim BF or GF stops playing or plays less?
19. When are you allowed to see other sims if your sim BF or GF plays less?
20. If you play two sims, do you have to tell your sim BF or GF?
21. If you play two sims, are they allowed to date different people?
22. If you have a sim BF or GF in Aphaville, can your other sim date players in JP?
23. If you have a sim BF or GF, can you have a Second Life or There BF or GF?
24. If you play a sim of the opposite sex, should you tell your sim BF or GF?
25. Can you sim date or be married and live in seperate house?

Frisky Truth Or Dare

Invisibile Sim?
Pete writes
Weird. Dunno if u have seen this before...dunno what it is, but I checked around and others saw it too. has left the property. I saw it happen twice!

EvilBed? Triple Feature
Pause (the bear) from Alphaville writes
I'm a big fan of your TSO Secrets website. Like you, I'm also suffering from TSO burnout and check your site everyday for new ways of keeping myself entertained in the game. After reading your entry about the evilbedT trick, I decided to have a small evilbedT party with some friends. Attached is a screenshot of how it turned out. Hope you like it ^_^. in the screenshot: Aunt Caitlyn, Holliwoode, and Jacqueline-M in bed, AdamC doing a handstand, and Pause doing the jazz dance.

Cherry Love reveals secret pics of her Pussy?

Cherry writes
Mary & Emilia can look at my kitten, the one you guy's was calling pussy last night, lol.:D I know have nothing do with sims, but I like to show them.

Jenji has the power of levitation
I was skilling up last night and was shocked to see Jenji and she was floating around, using her black magic powers of levitation.

Notorious Meets Infamous
I was searching for cooking house late last night. There are few skill houses open after midnight pst. I found a new place called "Q's Cooking" and flew in. I landed and guess who was at the front door? It was Capt Morgan! It's kind of funny that we have never really met. I enjoy reading Capt's posts on tsozone, and we have tons of friends in common. We might of met once before at GiP. Last night Capt and I figured out that it is probably because of our skills. He is creativity and charmisma, and I am cook and mech. We both have logic but I lock mine. Here is Capt at his best. Q's Cooking is short for Quistis , another blonde hottie of JP. I don't know about Capt, but Quistis had me under her mojo spell. :D I snuck in a ButtGrind? on the way out which Q also said she enjoyed giving sims. Meoooow?

Plumber's Mary and Twid
Plumber's Mary and Twid had a lot of work to do in Em's restroom. After work they headed over to Sam's and had a few drinks. A sign of a good plumber is some butt crack showin.

How To Play Frisky Truth Or Dare?
It keeps getting quieter in simland, but lately we've managed to make fun evenings out of nothing. Last night was "peeeee your frilly white panties". Em, Mary, Cherry, Niles and I, decided to continue Mary and Cherry's Frisky Truth or Dare Competition. Twiddler being an ocd control freak, had to make a series of rules so he could sleep at night ROFL

No.1 Get A dice
No.2 Very first roun you need to pick the person to be ASKER
No.3 Everyone else rolls the dice
No.4 Highest roller is the ASKEE (if any tie, they who tie roll again)
No.5 Askee picks Truth Or Dare
No.6 After the round ASKEE becomes ASKER and the others roll

Tips
Say your roll or else people get confused. If you say it in bubble, you can then CTRL H and check. It even helps more if one person yells outthe rolls as people spin. example Em 3, Mary 4, Cherry 1. Then it is very easy to CTRL H and review when things get funny or confusing. Sometimes two people click the dice at the same time...if you can't tell, do a do-over for both.

Now the game was so funny some of the time because some players are so nice or don't want to embarass people. Half the time I was spitting diet coke through my nose when Cherry and Niles would give out Dares. Both of them were very kind. There dares were like: "ok, run around the lot 3 times and jump into the swimming pool". Then Mary, Em and I would get them and the dares would be "see that random online sim named Johny Hudson in that house you never go to...IM him and ask him how long is his dinky?." Niles and Cherry quickly learnt how to dial their dares to the frisky side ROFL. I find the best Dares are making players do embarassing random IMs. Another good one might be sending a player out to attempt a hotkiss on a sim they dont know etc. Truths can also be very fun and embarassing. All of us had a super time and I am sure we will be playing again. If you are looking for some easy quick fun in simville, pull out a dice with your close friends and try Frisky Truth Or Dare?.

dinky™ and The Sims

For some unknown reason, every sentence uttered at Gnomes In Paradise, now must have a ? at the end. ROFL. If you live in any city, and are bored at any property, I urge you to use and promote the ?. It helps if you have a partner in crime to really hammer out the ? to get the crowd going. LOL. Mary Poppins and I cannot stop saying ?. I would argue that it is even more fun than pointing. There are three ways to get a ? into your bubble posts and IMs. Here they are

No.1 Use the Number Pad
if you hold down ALT and hit 0153, you will get an ?. This is the method of most for obtaining the ?.

No.2 COPY and PASTE
I am an old school copy and paster. I copy the ? from a web page like this one and then CTRL V it continually through the night. Its very fast. Here is one more trick...paste it into your player description at the very bottom so you can go and suck it from there, anytime you need it during the night. The servers will erase it each night, but it is good for one play session.

No.3 Character Map
Click START then Programs then Accessories then System Tools and then Character Map. Then about 3/4 of the way down the page, near the No. you will see ? Click it and then COPY it and you are good to go.

dinky?
Beside saying ? constantly, you might also try using the words dinky? and Boobies? in normal bubble talk. This seems to keep the crowd lively and frisky. Mary has been known to use the 3D VR glasses to zoom in.

Evil Bed?
There is a new Evil Bed? in town. This one sucks you in. One minute you are trying to sleep, the next minute it is quicksand. Here is how I think you can recreate the Evil Bed?. You need two people near a bed. The first one clicks to Sleep. 2 seconds later, the other person clicks to Make (so you need to be getting into an unmade bed. This seems to be what causes the sink.

Mary Poppins Shocking Shotgun Wedding

I decided to post twice today since some friends thought my first post meant that I was quitting. Sorry for the confusion. I am not quitting (I will at some point when I burnout LOL), I just didn't feel like trying to write a funny story earlier. Here is a quicky from no less than 5 minutes ago

Mary Poppins Shocking Shotgun Wedding
I dropped in on the wedding already in progress at Siobhan's pad. Mary was nervous about her new groom since she did not want him eat her but it was ok of he ate her out. The groom got nervous and was slow to answer. Soon [Wooden Bear] was speaking fluent english. Bear did enjoy the vibrating bear. Ariane Barnes made a good point about church.

Nani-No-Cook vs. The Twid

Chantal from Alphaville writes
by the way, not sure if you can use this shot, but it sure ties in with your boredom poll...A group of friends and I do a lot crawl every week, ending with a Mystery property, usually some brand new place that has one person, busting their butts trying to make it happen on a size 1 or 2 lot.The 15-18 of us will charge in hang a while, tip them like crazy, clean up, and give them a nice visitor bonus the next day. On this particular night, the bathroom was so teensy, we decided to do a clowns in a Volkswagen type of thing, you can't see exactly how many are in there because some of us are meshed with others!! Stay Tuned for more of "When Sims Get Bored!"

Zom from Zocor in Dan's Grove writes
I saw your recent column about adding the ? symbol in chat. You mentioned copying items from outside TSO and pasting them while IN the game. How do you paste? I can't right click to do it--it just causes the screen to center on me (not that that's a bad thing, but I digress.) How do I paste while in TSO? It would be helpful for my sim in JP so that the standard greeting at our shop could be cut and pasted instead of typed out the million or so times a day I do it! Of note, there is another option to the cut and paste technique for getting the TM symbol etc. Some copies of windows (Win 98 but not Win XP, I believe) have a copy of the character map under the start menu. You get a lay out of all the good unique characters as well as how to access them using the ALT key. To get there, go start, programs, accessories, system tools, character map. Click on what you like and the ALT code for that character shows up in the bottom right corner of the map.

Twiddler writes
The easiest way to paste is just a "CTRL V". Even when you are in Sims Online, you can CTRL C, CTRL X and CTRL V in the IM and Bubble widows. I just grab the TM before I enter the game or ALT TAB out and grab it.

Laptops are HOT

Enilk Libb VI in Test Center writes
Laptops are so cool in Test Center! Everyone wants one, and thanks to Stores' discounts I'm selling them for little more than half their catalog price! I sold 20 yesterday and demand continues to balloon! They are cool in that you can carry them around, and they can even play MUSIC! They are the sweetest things around! Too bad you guys don't get them...yet.

Cooking In Paradise
The "In Paradise" frazchise, famouse for "Gnomes" in Paradise, has brached out and is now taking on the word of "Cooking" with their second unit. All the "In Paradise" franchisees keep the basic floorplan the same, making it very easy for guests to find their way around. Lailani Nani is the owner of Cooking In Paradise and perhaps the most curious aspect about Lailani, is that she owns a cooking skill lot, yet refuses to cook. Hence the name Nani-No-Cook.

The Cha Cha Cha
Nani and Balikeye have started a new dance craze and are hoping it catches on. Repeatdly click "Twist and Sink" while typing some variation of "Cha Cha Cha" in bubble chat. Twiddler agreed to post this information while hesitantly sitting in his chair in vegas attire.

Nani-No-Cook vs. The Twid
Two powerful ninja's met on the island of truth in order to do battle. Could the fluorescent shirt overpower the slinky vegas gown? Twiddler was quickly in trouble. Nani-No-Cook was the boss of him.

Nani-No-Cook vs. The Twid 2
Twiddler returned with the power of the mojo wetsuit. Queen Nani was not scared. Behold the Power of the Nani! I think I just pee'd my panties. If Twiddler lost, he would be forced to bow. He was whipped. Nani-No-Cook forced him to kiss her belly, but her really blew a big raspberry in it as a sign of rebellion.

How To Get The Shirts
Ladies, take notes. She how Lani lures the men onto a thin swimming pool walkway and then traps them out there so the other skirts can't get to them.

Fashion Show With Mojo Mary
Mary was showin a little hard workin butt crack. Few people know that under Mary's polite and subtle red dress, exists a large pair of 36D torpedos.

Yes Lesbians
Lani and Fluffy sitting in a tree.

Pro Level Sims Pool Tricks

Let's Start Off With More Blonde Lesbians!
Sim Christina Aguilera might put up a good front that she's "straight" but I think the real truth comes up in the behind the scene stories. Last night I was swimming in her pool and hiding behing the bamboo bar when I secretly saw Kelly the BOSS Blonde propose to Christina! Then they started dirty dancing. Christina's lawyers have unsuccessfully tried to shut me down several times since she believe that somehow I distort the facts. Now here is an advanced trick for the reverse bubble talkers to get one over on the pointers. See here, look at what Christina just said to Kelly OMG!

Pro Level Pool Tricks
Here are some pro level tricks as conjured up by Kelly, Christina and Twiddler. You can actually take objects into the pool. The BOSS blonde blew our minds when she was able to take the first whackball into the pool. This set off a chain of pool trick events. The secret to getting into the pool with an object, is to click the water, and not the diving board. Click where? No Swim Here. That was a whackball to pool floor ollie, difficulty 7.5. I now hold in my hot little hands, a fine hand crafted, beechwood aged, ice cold ale. This is the swimming in pool with ale fakee, dificulty 8. Now only pro level pool tricksters should try this next trick. Pool side floater to AFK ale in hand ollie, difficulty 9. Now one of the harder tricks is getting out of the pool. I was attempting a sawgy burger in the shallow end 720 when I got stuck. There are two ways out of the pool. The easy bunnyslope method is to "put down the object" and let is contaminate the pool so more chloriene will need to be added. The super sly method of exiting the water is to click yourself, and then click AFK, and you will walk out of the pool, and perform a tile ollie to plate O burger front side.

Party Crashers Storm The Grizzly Saloon
Suzy Q and GeeGee were watching the pool antic and began asking for entry into the hermit's cave known to some as "Grizzly Bear Saloon". Few have gained access to the lair of the mountain man. "We want to have a party at your house!!!" Screetched the bikini babes. "Hell No!" said Twiddler. The girls were relentless but the wetsuit wearing lad resisted. Later that evening, Twiddler was back at the saloon and wearing pink stipper pants with no top. He was chasing miss Cytra around the pool tables in the infamous "nurses" uniform. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and BOSS blonde poofed in. Kelly spoke fast "Twid, there is a pack of frisky skirts headed this way!" Withing seconds, there was a pack of frisky skirts out in the snowbank! Twiddler quickly ran for the clothing rack and got into his indian gear. There was only one thing he could do...yep, fry up his world famous triple cheese grilled cheese sandwiches. After dinner, it was time for the number one sport in JP, I am talking about hot tubbing. Christina must of got into the sauce because she let her guard down yet again. Here is a rare brunette and blonde lesbian combo and Christina evens says a little spanish for us "bueno bella" which means "good beautiful" aka Meooooowwww. The girls quickly realized that there really wasn't much to do at the Grizzly saloon and began to fall asleep by the fires.

The Big Sims Online Race!

Utopian Mechanics Study
I was hanging out with the firey levitating redhead "Butterfly Lover", as she hammered some nails and put up a little drywall. Butterfly had just inherited a house from a friend and was remodelling. She must have damn nice friends because the young lad that gave her the house left 6 blue oriental couches, 6 turbo speed single beds, 6 stainless steel shower enclosures, a damn 25k Wishing fountain, and more mechanical study bookshelves than you can shake a stick at! I am guessing that Butterfly's pad will soon be the hot spot for mechanical study. I forgot if these fancy couches were any good to sleep on and so testing was in order. They do charge your comfort and energy, but they are one arrow and slow as toast. Golden-Jewel flew in and we got to chat. Jewel remembered me from 600 years ago on like day2 of beta back in JP pre-wipe. It turns out that we played a little code together. Back then, code was new and you did it the pure, by hand method. In those days, Twiddler wore a pink suit and sobrerro and was lead guitar for the rockband "The Padre, The Chick, and The Cheesehead". I remember those days when BunnyHop and I bought Maze and I thought "this sucks...how can anyone make any money at this contraption. I remember the first time we mazed

"ok, now walk 2 squares up and then tell me what you see"
"I think I see a wall on top of me and one on the bottom and I have yellow underneath"
"now go right for a total o 4 squares and then tell me where you are"

17 hours later we had completed our first Maze. :) Butterfly Lover, Golden-Jewel and I worked the bla bla and then a sissy fight broke out. I'll have to drop in on Butterfly today or tomorrow and check the remodelling progress.

That's a lot of logic
I was skill topping the logic at that popular lounge when young Jayde' flew into town. There is no busier logic spot in simtown, then Mech N'Logic Lounge. One thing I have often wondered is, why aren't there more dual Mech/Cook houses since they use the same bookshelf? Why do I love sims online? I won't lie to you...the ratio of skirts to shirts ROFL. Take that last screen cap for example, 6 skirts, 2 shits in the pic. LOL. You skirts have had it easy all these years...Quake, Half-life, EQ, UO, these are damn sausage factories with 10 guys to every guy. A chick shows up and has her pic of 16 horny mofo's. Well now the tables have turned...TSO is skirtsville ;) I'm singing Surf City Two girls for every boy. LOL

The Pointing Intensifies
The pointing game continued at a feverish pace at GiP. Once you start pointing, it becomes an addiction. There are few things as great in sims as "lesbians". I think the only thing that beats "lesbians" is "blonde lesbians". The trump card that takes all is of course blonde lesbian twins in a hottub talking dirty with Mary Poppins. Chia Chrome and Hamilee are perfect sim twins and the two were adding to the comic michief all evening. Soon we were all drawn to the ocean. Twiddler was frantically tried to show Cherry Love the locknessmonster while Mary Poppins squatted and the lesbain blonde twins discussed daily caloric intake. Cherry still couldn't see the danger, but more importantly, Em just jogged by and asked if her ass jiggles in her bikini and Hamilee lets her know. A crowd soon began to form as fear grew. Mary and Twiddler tried to warn Siobhan. (and you thought I was kidding about 2:1 skirts to shirts...did you see the math on that last slide? Aye Carrumba I love TSO). Now there is so much going on in this next slide that I can't even begin to describe it. In the middle of all the chaos, notice how Mojo Mary and Twiddler slide in a subtle game of "headbutt".

The Big Race
The race game has intensified. Back when were young, we used to race for free. Then a few years ago, we raced for $1000 a man. Now its the big leagues and race game has increased to "5 Large". Yep, don't even show up unless you have $5000 in your hot little hands. The blonde lesbian twins Chia Chrome and Hamilee, along with Cherry Love decided to see if they had what it takes to dethrone this years champ "Twiddler" and last years champ "Mary Poppins". Twiddler insisted that everyone run a test lap, and it's a damn good thing since people were running everywhere except in the correct direction. Even at the end of the race there was a technicality. I have to thank Em who is our official starter and judge. She keeps the chaos to a minimum. She's firm but fair. We opted for the big 3 lap race. The gun sounded and we were off. Hamilee quickly took the lead and was very tough. Twiddler was hot on her heels the whole way but could not close the distance. At the end, Hamilee was not sure of the track configuration and went wide. Twiddler got to the diving board first, but felt that Hamillee was the fastest runner and should be declared the winner since it was her first time at GiP speedway. Hamilee pocketed a cool 25 large for 5 minutes work. Here is the view from the GiP blimp. Here is the tricky corner No.2 with dangerous flamingo hazards.